My phrases to live by

 

At the end of June, 2017, I gave my last sermon as pastor of Memorial United Church of Christ in Fitchburg WI. I talked about the phrases that I have used to guide my life. I went back to look at them as we begin 2020 to remind myself and I thought I’d share them. Some are my phrases, some are from the Bible. (I have modified the reflection a bit from the original sermon.)

May your 2020 be filled with goodness and hope. 

“We are made in God’s image” You probably recognize that phrase from the first chapter of the first book in the Bible – Genesis. For me, it’s a constant reminder that I have dignity and, more importantly, so does every person I encounter every day. There may be things about them that I don’t like. I may not want to spend much time with them. I may want to challenge them on what they are thinking and might be doing. 

The bottom line, though, is that both they and I are in made in God’s image. If I can’t see the divine in them – or in me – I need to dig a little deeper.

“I might be wrong.” To me, this is an essential phrase in our time when political, theological, cultural, personal polarities so divide us from one another. 

It’s a reminder to me to listen to what those who disagree with me are saying, to seek the underlying principles that have led them to their conclusions, to question whether the way I prefer is really the only way or even the best way. As the line in that prayer that reflects the spirit of Francis of Assisi says:  “grant that I may not so much be understood as seek to understand.”

Here’s another important part of that “I-might-be-wrong” phrase. It’s not one that I impose on you, as in “You might be wrong.” Yes, you might be wrong, but let’s keep working on understanding the different ways we see the world. And if you are not willing to do that, well, then at some point I have to shake the dust off my feet and move on.

“It’s not that simple.” That’s kind of a corollary to “I might be wrong.” It acknowledges that there are usually more than just two dimensions to any issue we are struggling with. This is a particularly useful saying in the political arena, where politicians and advocates tend to frame issues as really stark choices between good and evil.  It’s the bumper sticker I have on my car.

Yes, it’s easy to get paralyzed by never choosing the path you think is best on any given issue. Ultimately, we have to make choices. But what “It’s not that simple” reminds me is that I should never think I’ve got the solution all figured out when I first learn about the problem.

“It’s only temporary.” That’s a phrase that has gotten me through some tough times in my life. It’s not about the state of the world. It’s about the state of my being. And yes, I know, some things are not temporary, like chronic pain or a degenerative disease or a terminal illness. I have never had to live with something that drastic, for which I am grateful. 

But the “it’s-only-temporary” phrase speaks to me about both short-term and long-term distress. It gives me a calm place to go when things in my life seem to be spinning out of control. And it gives me hope in the long term because I believe that God’s love carries me beyond the limits of my body. 

“Be still and know that I am God.” This comes from Psalm 46 and is a phrase I often use when I want to slow down, breathe, be mindful. Sometimes I drop off a word until the only word left is “be.” Then I add the words back. I like the rhythm it helps create in my life. But more importantly, it reminds me that I am not the one in charge, so teaches me to try to approach what I do with a bit of humility. 

"Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” You know that line from the prayer of Jesus that is in the Sermon on the Mount that we sometimes call the Lord’s Prayer or the Our Father. To me, the whole idea of forgiveness is one of the essential messages of Jesus. 

Any of us who have ever been wronged by another know that forgiveness does not come easy. The greater the wrong, the greater the harm done to us - the harder it is. And there are times a glib message from others to forgive an offender can be destructive in itself. It’s not something those on the outside should be pressuring us to do.

Yet forgiveness is so intertwined with my understanding of God and Jesus. I trust that God will forgive me when I take a wrong turn. I love that image of the God of Second Chances. I know that I need to reach inside myself and forgive myself for mistakes I make, without overlooking the impact those mistakes may have on others. And then I need not to let the harm others have done to me take control of my life. 

It’s a hard phrase, one that I can spend a lifetime working on. And that leads to another phrase.

“Jesus asks us to do the hard things.” Just think about the things Jesus said in what we call the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) – hunger for righteousness, be a peacemaker, forgive your offender, turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, love your enemies. Whoa! Who can do all that?

To me, that’s the hard part of being a follower of Jesus. We like the portrayals of Jesus as someone who understands our humanity, who offers comfort, who embraces little children and heals those in torment. I am consoled by his promises of God’s love.

Still, the challenges that he holds out for me will take a lifetime to even approach accomplishing. Step by step, I try to get there, recognizing that what Jesus asks often goes against my very human instincts and society’s very seductive norms.

 “He took bread, blest it, broke it and gave it to them.” This is a line from the story of Jesus meeting a couple of followers on the road to Emmaus on the first Easter. They did not know who he was until be blest, broke and shared the bread. 

The scripture reference to that verse is on my car license – LK2430. I think that whole Emmaus story defines for me how we ought to living as we follow Jesus. But for a moment, I’ll just focus on that one line. 

When we take what we have, give thanks for it, treat it as a blessing to be shared, not to be hoarded, then we are on the road with Jesus.  That’s a pretty simple idea. It’s not as simple to live out. If we see ourselves made in God’s image, then we will see God in others as well and we will be companions with them in Christ.

 “We will never say ‘we’ve always done it this way.’ ” This is a phrase that I have learned from the people of Memorial UCC that I can apply to my life.

When the congregation of Memorial UUC moved from the area near the UW Field House out to Fitchburg in the late 1980s, this became a mantra:  “We’re starting over. We will never say ‘we’ve always done it this way.’ ” That allowed Memorial to try new things, to let go of those things that were not working, to weave people into the life of the congregation easily and graciously as they arrived.

That phrase is a reminder to me not to get too set into routines, not to get too locked into the comfortable but to be willing to try things and go places where my natural caution might hold me back. 

“Now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.” This familiar line comes from Paul’s first letter to the people of Corinth (1 Cor 13: 13). It’s a good phrase to end on, because love is the guidestar for how I hope to live, whether the intimate love of my wife Ellen and our family, the harder love of those I don’t like so much, the sustaining love for God and that I trust God has for me.